I will never accept anything that I have not developed the ability to verify directly for myself. I am open to anything and everything, but I've latched on to narratives in the past thinking they were the Truth only to later discover that I had once again deceived myself.
Here's what I've realized. All symbolic narrative is fiction. Humans are incapable of perceiving reality as it is. Donald Hoffman explains this well in his book "The Case Against Reality: why evolution hid the truth from our eyes".
I have now started to write my own narrative for my existence and have been broadcasting it to the collective heavily for the past two years starting around the end of 2019... I've been getting a lot of abuse because of it though since my narrative conflicts with almost every other narrative that I see others sharing. However, because I've kept mine mostly private, and I have faith in my ability as an Is-Be with a direct connection to Source... Self-Arising Primordial Awareness... and I've been experimenting with various emotional cognitive states. Doing that "Lighting Up" type thing... I've also created a astral Earth guardian being who's about twice the size of earth with a giant eye as a head to help us let go of stale stories and usher in more liberating ones.
I don't think it really matters what stories you choose to engage with, eventually you'll gather enough personal direct experience to gain a greater image of how consciousness creates reality and what is really keeping us bound here in endless time loops. Although I've not quite gained enough myself to leave for good... although that seems to be simply because I continue to choose to stay every time I've been offered the ability to leave. I'm attached to this being I am in this limited state because there are certain things that can only be experienced in the presence of limitation and resistance to that limitation.
I do sometimes wish I felt connected and united with some sort of team however... as far as I'm aware, I have no connections to any other time and place. Perhaps the memory wipes got me super good and there's no possibility of regaining any memories... although if that's the case then I guess I'm completely liberated to align myself anew with other groups that may share in my vision of a world I'd like to participate in.
I don't think there's any correct interpretation of the infinite creation we are all a part of. We are free to choose any path we will. However, we always will get what we give. Nobody can escape the choices they do not understand.
I've also pondered about whether this life for me is like a vacation. Because I live an almost idyllic life at this point, other than not seeing a way out other than shedding this physical body, which I am not prepared to do yet. I've attempted astral projection, remote viewing, etc... but have had very little success... so that gives me some questions and honestly I feel some envy that others maybe having experiences that I am missing out on... and I also yearn for human connection but also have been quite unsuccessful in establishing and maintaining them since I can't buy into most narratives that humans are focused on.
Anyway... I thought I'd be typing this out and deleting it like I typically do since I know most people don't really care about what we have to say to each other since, like myself, we're mostly focused on getting other people to buy into the narratives we're pushing... but my narrative is more of a meta one that says there are no true narratives, just the stories we tell ourselves and choose to focus on and believe to the point it affects our behavior.
That being said... I will admit that I am so lonely and deeply yearn to be a part of something more... but am unwilling to blindly accept anything that I am not directly participant in.
Perhaps I'm simply not yet able to handle the truth of my existence?
How do I fit in to your personal narrative? Do I have a place in your world? Or am I just some random wandering fragment of a broken mind?
