This was an idea I first had as a child! That I alone created my surroundings and my "reality"? This doesn't mean Ive ever believed I am the only living and sentient being. Its about the idea that we are one fractured consciousness who became divided in an attempt to create new experiences.
The Lucifer project suggests that he was a creation and it supports the "fractured mind" idea?. As I said these ideas came early for me (I was 3 years old) and it came seemingly out of nowhere.
Ive had a distinct feeling that I have been both a perpetrator and a victim early as well. And then I learned about reincarnation and it reinforced my belief system. Whatever I do to another person, it comes back and haunts me in some way or the other. The Buddhists speak about how the answer lies in "the Golden middle path" and you reach it when you have been in the extreme and experienced too much of darkness or TO MUCH of the light and divine!
The worst pain comes when you have been fighting against something in your life and reach a point when it is calming down and you'll believe its all over. But suddenly the problems start again!
The point is that you suffer more if you experience the extreme contrasts between pain and happiness compared to if you are stuck on one side ONLY.
Im of the "service to other" personality but now I try to live in a more balanced way in the "middle of the road"! To constantly live in "heaven" and "bliss" is worthless if live in it for too long?
Id prefer "smaller" amounts of joy, love and light and focus on a "neutral" life even though I know our world is experiencing more pain and suffering and is unbalanced with way too much pain and misery.
I DO sincerely believe I have the answers to my whole existence within me!