Well, it is challenging, and yes, I will try to sleep but will give my letter to him tomorrow. He totally ruined my dinner by coming in and telling me that he hopes it's clear that he isn't going to have an arguement with me about feeding the cats no longer after today, and I just said 'I know you are clear on that and I heard what you said'. I didn't tell him about the letter cuz I was trying to enjoy my meal, and couldn't control the shaking after that, so he totally ruined the rest of my meal. I will try not to shake tomorrow, but this guy is terrible because a couple weeks ago, my granddaughter likes to go outside and sit in the hammock swing in the evenings when it's cooler, we're in Az so not much cooler but you get what I mean. Well one night he told her she can't go out there after he goes to bed. I go out and he says that she can't go out after he goes to bed without me, and I asked why he didn't come tell me that she was making noise and woke him up, as he needs total silence, like my Mom was and expects the world to be quiet for them. He must of been a spoiled child, his Mom must of made everyone be quiet while he sleeps. Anyway, he says, it's hard to talk to you, well....duh, when he's so entitled to have total silence when he goes to bed which is sometimes late, sometimes early, it got bad cuz he wanted me to put headphones on after about a year being here, and so then he'd go to bed and tell me like time to put the headphones on, totally erked me, so then he said she can't go out without me and I said you're not in control of her or me, and that is when he threatened to call CPS and report that I cuss at night at my granddaughter, which isn't true, it's not at her, but sometimes I do, but she doesn't even take it seriously, she actually finds it entertaining, and this CPS thing is a pattern in my life so I know it's a simulation that is put on me to keep me in fear. So I said go ahead and call them, then my daughter did the same the next couple of nights and her reason is because she wants to enroll her in school, and I'm not dealing with CPS anymore, ever, I had to when they took away her parental rights because she wouldn't go to rehab at the time. Although she's been clean now for almost 3 years, it was only a couple months ago that she finally was off probation, and I rather like to wait a couple years and see if she can maintain sobriety without probation but still is with her daughter even though she isn't in charge. So I said go ahead and call them but then she is like, well what would they do, I'm like what do you think they'll do. I won't be talking to them, won't be answering their questions and neither will my granddaughter...it's just not going to happen. so after that whole blowup, she got mad at the roommate and me and said she was going to move out. That put him into pouting mode, guess he thought he'd had her manipulated enough that she'd do just that but what she doesn't know is that CPS wouldn't give her custody of her daughter, even though she's sober, and putting my granddaughter thru that crap again...well...not going to happen. She's pretty desperate and liked to claim my granddaughter was going stircrazy and needs to go to a public school for a 'normal' life. Public school is like prison, indoctrination into a life of slavery and compliance.
I tell ya, this matrix game sucks, but I'm well aware of how this operates so I'm not afraid anymore....their threats don't affect me and it seems quite funny because once I just stood there and said go ahead. Do your worst, they scampered off, kinda dumbfounded, and my roommate went to his room for almost 2 days and didn't come out much, it was pretty nice for me and my granddaughter, we enjoyed the quiet. I would love to just move out, but it's very expensive, and it's not going to happen since rent is so high and they want deposits. We've been here almost 3 years, and I wanted to move a year ago, but my daughter had to put in another year so she had to be at a job for two years to even qualify for a home loan, then once the two years was up, now houses are way too expensive and she can't afford a house over $100,000....there are no houses that cheap for sure, you'd need to make $33 an hour just to afford rent and even then it's outrageous.
Well....I guess I didn't get the whole rant out! LOL
Now I'll try to sleep and print up my letter for him tomorrow, and see if that goes over well. I don't want to fight with him or starve kitties...we'll see if it works.
Thanks for the explanation on venting...I know they don't call it blowing off steam for nothing, but just figuring out this matrix and the simulations it throws at me, it is funny to see how they react when they can't make you afraid.
