Hello, yet again, this week's translation of Courtney's academic-constrained over-explaining, translated into Tazz's nonchalant irresponsible vulger version. And I bring to you Courtney as presented by Tazz . . .

Hi everyone. Is the sound working? Ok. Thanks. Ok hi everyone it's Courtney here again.

Now let's cut to the chase. You know, I tried to help out a lot of b*tches in my life. Ok I admit I have a sort of rescuer complex aka wanting to be a sugar dad.

BUT

These dumb b*tches didn't take my offers! Why?? They were screwed because of it. Why didn't they take my help? Well years later, Yeme explained it to me. She was like "Courtney dude . . . they don't like sugar-dad energy because they want their own life"

Maybe I should have realized that all their years of poverty and bad shit kind of shaped their identity. "I don't need no sugar, I keeps it real!"

So . . . they kept it real.

Well today, humans, I'm here to tell you about your God damn problem. You're a bunch of dumb b*tches because "you keeps it real like that." Yes there are aliens out there wanting to help. But you know, if they came in trying to swoop in for you, too many of you would be like "no I do things my way b*tch!" And then the fall for some dumbass loser anyway.

That's why we don't intervene. You want to "keep it real." Well, dumbasses. You'll get exactly that. We're gonna keep it real for you. Your planet is gonna burn. And our hope is you get to see a bit of the high life before it does. So at least . . . when you watch it all burning to hell . . . you can think of the fact that it doesn't have to be like that.

So . . . we don't really want to play it that way. But our hope is you'll see the shit hitting the fan and be like . . . "ok well if I'm gonna keep it real at least I fight my own way" if you're not gonna take a sugar dad, well don't go loser-diving with a dipshit either.