if i may my friend to speak about that.and sorry in advance for speaking about something that's not in my knowledge in terms of experience although i do experience many people that i've work with in those matters.. it is a limited belief system, one that needs to be redefined.. in terms of "Because of this I may find that remote viewing or anything else that has to do with the spirit world may be extremely difficult for me" - "the black marks on my soul will be one more hurtle I must overcome towards any sort of enlightenment"...
theres no spiritual practice without experience that shadow or dark place, it simply doesn't exist.. and to believe because that we are not deserving of that wich is part of us is also a limited belief.
Sorry this talk it also remindes me of my brother, similar past experience and now it's like talking to two diferent subjects... and also i see that a lot within our communities in shamanic practices and cerimonies.
Theres a lot to learn from you because all that you've been through.
Glad you are here
Very good indeed
Also reminded me of a brother from the Sacred Sons