I remember a lot of things, but it's all "raw" knowledge with no identity attached to it. Like, imagine you read a novel and you remember many objective details, but nothing subjective like the names of the protagonists or how they looked.

I do remember a planet with a purple sky. Advanced technology. Strong curiosity towards the mysteries of the universe. Logic was a big part of culture, similar to the Vulcans in Star Trek. Strong family values, strong protection of the children. But families are not as separated like they are here on Earth, more like, a greater part of society raises and protects children. No schools. Instead, people build circles based on what is needed, when it is needed.

No "courtesy" like people would understand it here on Earth. No facades. Telepathic connection for a purpose, no beating around the bush. Honesty is a virtue and is expected from everyone to be a part of the collective (which is not the right word, because that society was much more flexible, with a strong sense of individuality). For example, if someone doesn't want a telepathic connection (or any other connection), everybody would "see" that and leave them alone.

Conflict management was done through fierce debate. No beating around the bush, as I said. No "play" at court, because there was no court. No government. It was more like a meritocracy. Most people here on Earth couldn't even imagine.

Interestingly, I detest the greys for some reason, like they are an abomination of nature. I know it's not true for all greys, but there's a strong repulsive emotion. My theory is that there were greys involved when they burned the planet. They literally eradicated it because the whole society was incompatible to their authoritarian system and rebelled against it.

I hated being on Earth for the most part of my life, because being who I am, the honesty, the aversion to lies and illusions that so many people need made it very hard. As a young child, I had a respiratory ailment called pseudocroup, as if I rejected to breath Earth's atmosphere. I don't know the exact reason for that, but it stopped after a while.

When I was sent to school, I was enthusiastic at first, because I thought it would be like what I remember. I started to debate with the teachers and asked questions they didn't like, because that's normal to me. As you can imagine, school became hell for me, and I soon began to hate every single day of it. It was so boring and mind crushing.

Read the book "Dumbing Us Down" by John Taylor Gatto to understand how bad human schools actually are.

I became an introvert and suffered from anxiety and depression for many years. I'm now 43 years old. I started to defeat depression when I was 34 years old, and it was a hell of a ride. I started shadow work, which led to resurfacing memories. Let me tell you: It isn't very helpful to start to remember a burning planet while you're trying to defeat depression.

I learned a lot about how to heal depression, and how it is connected to not being able to live in your own nature. It's much more an environmental thing than a medical condition. You need to connect to your true nature to heal it, but the problem with the prison planet is: You are not allowed to do that, especially if you are a free spirit.

I guess many people here have similar stories and know how it feels to be on this planet.

Did you have any form of military? Was the attack like an ambush or more slowly drawn out?

We didn't see it coming. "They came as friends" is the phrase that comes to my mind.

There was a strong military, but it wasn't strong enough. See, the society was a meritocracy for a reason, and it had something to do with the environment. It's like, we needed a lot of intelligence to survive. I see big animals, a bit like dinosaurs, bulky and grey in color. They remind me of creatures you would see in a Star Wars movie. It was part of culture to tame them, like in the Avatar movie when they tamed the flying creatures, except they weren't flying.

The military fought a fierce battle, but lost. They eventually did what they did in Vietnam with napalm, but on a much more advanced level. They did it to set a warning example to others.

I know what you mean when you say: Do I remember this or is it imagination? There is so much here in fiction like Star Wars and Avatar that resembles what I seem to remember. It's confusing.

Do you remember silly things that would seem kind of trivial? Like a certain kind of hat,or a poem, or like some kind of social expression that's just "a thing we said" - stuff like that?

Manuel,

These fierce debates you talk of, were there symbolisms of when decisions were made? Like when a judge drops their gavel? Or the likes?

I need to explain a lot to answer that...

The word "fierce" comes to my mind regarding many aspects of that society. Actually, it's the german word "heftig", because my first language is German. Heftig can also mean different things, but what I mean is: Severe or passionate, because you know that something important is at stake.

That's because the environment was fierce as well. In order to survive, there was not much time to play around. If you wanted to have a secure environment where you can play with the children, you needed protection by more than one or two people. The circle became a symbol, because it stands for many people protecting what's inside, like children, for instance.

For a debate, we would also build a circle. But not a "circle of chairs", where people just sit and talk to each other. The circle was merit-based, it consisted of people who deserved to be there because of their knowledge. Like a council. The disputing parties stood in the center, debating with each other, trying to convince the circle. In ancient times, it was also possible that the disputing parties were fighting physically, but that tradition was deemed barbaric in later times.

There was no judge dropping a gavel. The circle would evaluate the debate based on knowledge and telepathic "probing". There was no lying inside a circle, because the circle would see it. But it wasn't violent, because nobody was forced to face a circle. Going into a circle and take on a debate was seen to be an honor, and there was some kind of initiation ritual attached to it.

There were different kinds of decision making, but the most common was something I would call "concordance" in the English language, but I need to describe it so you don't get a false impression.

Concordance was the ritual that followed the debate. It consisted of all the members of the circle to explain why they think who is right, like as if the circle now stands in the center, and the public became the greater circle. This was done to teach the public, so everybody can learn from the knowledge and wisdom of the circle.

The decision was made by giving the disputing parties a choice: They could either choose to follow one of the members of the circle, based on what that member explained to them, or they could choose to leave the circle, which would be like a ban from that society. I need to give an example:

Imagine a soldier and his wife having an argument. They agree to enter the circle. The circle consists of knowledgeable people from all the different parts of the society. The soldier and the wife present their case and debate. Then, the members of the circle present their knowledge. Let's say, the wife doesn't understand something her husband is doing as a soldier. One member of the circle belongs to the military and presents her – from his wisdom – why she is wrong, but in order to understand why, she gets the opportunity to serve in the military for some time, under the responsibility of the circle member who presented his wisdom. She doesn't have to do it, but it would be honorable to follow the wisdom of the circle.

Hmm. There isn't "sentencing" so much as proposals. And in the most heated of disputes, the proposal could essentially be do it or be banished?

But from the sound of it, that was not the typical use. This was more about information gathering, and concensus was pretty much a natural result that didn't have to be forced. Once everyone involved has been exposed to all the information, it's hard not to agree, especially when your thoughts are in the open.

That's quite an interesting concept.

Were you just like humans in appearance? Or different? And if different, how?

This is where his fear mode comes from. Manuel lost his free Will to the greys and is now trying desperately to find a way to reverse it. He remembers when his race lost to them and became enslaved by them...so he has crippling anxiety knowing he will never be free of them. Oh how sad.

"There isn't "sentencing" so much as proposals. And in the most heated of disputes, the proposal could essentially be do it or be banished?"

It's so much more complicated. I will try to explain, so bear with me...

In the barbaric times, the "sentence" of the circle was be banished or die in a duel. Being banished in most cases would be a death sentence, because of the dangerous environment, so you would be better off to choose the duel. If you survived, you would be drafted or promoted within the military, having to assume more responsibility, as you have proven to be strong. Of course there were many problems with that system, leading to the most ruthless eventually becoming the leaders of society. We called it the "dark times", similar to the medieval age here on Earth.

There was a time of awakening, initiated by someone – I can't remember names – who basically had the idea to not fight who he was supposed to fight, but instead challenging the best fighter of the circle. While this was a breach of taboo at that time, it wasn't the point: The main effect was that people saw how he spared the life of the one he was supposed to fight in order to rebel against a higher authority. It was a "gladiator moment", just like in the movie when the audience approved of Maximus instead of Commodus. As a result, the barbaric duels were abolished eventually in favor of a civilized debate.

But you are right, the threat of banishment still weighs heavy. It works in most societies, even humans fear banishment today, and for good reasons. To ban someone from society is a very common punishment in many civilizations, and also humans used it all the time, because surviving in the wilderness on your own isn't easy.

So, there were many instances were people chose to leave the circle and died. Some survived and created new societies, eventually leading to wars with the society that banned them. That was also part of the dark times. But the different societies evolved over time culturally and technologically. Leaving a circle wasn't as threatening anymore, because it became easier to just go to another place and start a new life. There was not as much prejudice against an "outlaw" as there would be here on Earth. It was more like: "Oh, you left that society, maybe you can prove your worth to us."

Anyway, leaving the circle became sort of a ritual with the meaning of "go out and do your own thing". For example, when a husband and wife argued within the circle, one of them leaving the circle just meant divorce. There was not as much shame attached to it like here on Earth, because doing your own thing against all odds was more valued.

I know I said "it would be honorable to follow the wisdom of the circle", and I know it sounds like extortion. But you see it from the perspective of humans who don't use telepathy. It wasn't an "offer you can't refuse", speaking of the civilized times. It was more like, when a member of the circle offered something, it was on honor because you wouldn't get that offer under normal circumstances. The value of the offer was based on the reputation of the circle member.

For example, giving someone the opportunity to serve in the military under his responsibility would be a great honor for everybody else. It became a common practice to "recruit" people through the circle, because it's essentially like a job interview, but more stressful, because you need to be able to stand your ground.

The enemy hated the circles because they made people strong. That's why that society was incompatible with their authoritarian system. That's why they eradicated it eventually.

"Manuel lost his free Will to the greys"

No, it wasn't the greys who fought. They are too weak. A grey wouldn't stand a circle for 10 seconds.

When I try to see the enemy, I see a Xindi reptilian from the Star Trek show. But I don't hate them. I nearly admire them because of their strength. That's why we thought we could be friends at first. But they were liars. The wanted to use the circles like they were used in the dark times. We saw how evil they were and rebelled, and they answered with a massacre.

"Were you just like humans in appearance? Or different? And if different, how?"

I'm leaning towards reptilian, because it feels somehow right, but I can't see it. There's a strong blockage in my mind, it replaces everything with human appearance when I try to see details, but I know it's not true. What I know is that they fear the truth coming out, that's why the blockage is so strong.